The Professional Professional
My name is Jennifer, and I'm a job hopper.
I can't help it. I don't feel like working most days, I get bored easily and the reruns from the TGIF lineup that I so adored the early '90s have started to make their way into regular daytime syndication.
In six years of teaching, I have taught at seven schools. This tally does not include the two schools for which I regularly substituted or the three different religious schools I taught at.
I worked at a balloon store a month before quitting, a telemarketing center a week before quitting and a clothing store a day before quitting. I worked at three Bath and Body Works stores a total of four times over a four-year period. I've been a day camp counselor, an overnight camp counselor and a baby sitter for no fewer than 10 families.
During college I had work-study stints in the School of Continuing Studies, The School of English and the School of Music, the latter being where I raided the confidential donor files to obtain Lenny Kravitz's home address.
I've been a chairside assistant for one dental office and a receptionist for another - and recently informed my dentist husband that I do not intend to assume either position in his practice.
I spent two summers as a waitress in a chain restaurant, the kind where they spell "grill" with an "e" at the end. Like it makes them "upscale dining." Like it conceals the fact that the food tastes like something scraped off the local interstate.
After college I freelanced for a local newspaper, if writing two commentaries on issues facing education constitutes freelance work. A few summers ago I scored a gig as a proofreader for a major insurance company. That lasted a total of seven business days before I decided that there was no future for me in an office dominated by post-menopausal spinsters with an average age of 67 and an average weight of 310.
I began writing this rant while sitting at my teaching job in school number seven contemplating, after three weeks on the job, whether or not I wanted to work there anymore. I was thoroughly convinced that I'd be much happier working at a day spa where I'd get discounted massages or at a no-kill dog shelter where I could roll around with puppies all day.
Or maybe I'd be happier not working at all.
A fat free muffin in bed, a few episodes of Family Matters ... throw in a nap or two, and I have the makings of a very satisfying day.
Jennifer Rhodes lives in Symmes Township with her husband and her Chihuahua, Jimmy Choo.
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